So, yet another day down the tubes.  Went to the “Harvest Festival” at my son’s elementary school.  You buy some tickets, the kids play some games, you can get some food.  No biggie.  They run out of pizza about a half-hour before the thing ends.  Masses of grown-ass adults are pushing and shoving to try to get the last slices with their two, silly little tickets.  They way they were yelling and shoving you’d have thought that they were scavenging for their last scraps like a group of survivors from “The Road”.  The little kids were easily more well behaved than their parents.  Take a lesson you turds!

Of course, I’m not too surprised after having been to the last PTO meeting.  What a cackling, petty, bunch of bored housewives.  A few suggestions:  1) Ladies, find a hobby.  It’s great that you want to be involved in your kids school-life, HOWEVER, this is NOT the whole world in here (the PTO). So ease up!  If you have that much energy to bitch and squabble over the cost of the “Fun Fair” tickets, maybe you need to write a letter to congress or something.  Channel that energy to something important and you could solve world hunger! 2) I’m not metrosexual or a fashionista by any stretch…poor doesn’t have to be dirty.  I understand some people, hell, most people are having $$ problems.  I understand you’ve got 6-7 kids (I don’t really, but for the sake of argument…).  Take that 1980’s pink and white nylon wind breaker that’s turning gray under the arms and the ends of the sleeves, and throw that fucker in the washer along with the white pleather running shoes (which coincidentally, I guarantee have never seen a pace greater than 3 steps a minute) and see if you can get a couple of the stains out.  Oh, and while you’re waiting for the washer to stop, try not to squeeze out any more dependents.  Thanks.  3) You, Blondie, are a living dichotomy, a walking contradiction.  Do NOT sit there in that way-too-long meeting and complain that you have to spend $10 bucks to get your two addled kids into some school shin-dig…not if you’ve got your done up bleach blonde hair up under your Baby Phat hat, wearing an $80 Victoria Secrets sweater, and strangely some broke down ripped up K-mart jeans and Target shoes.  Make a decision, you are cheap or you are not!

This is just exactly what I imagines Desperate Housewives would be like in real life only without all the beautiful women and studly men.  I saw one good looking woman there.  She was dressed appropriately, CLEAN, and she’s hot.  Best part is, she came with me and goes home with me.  Other than that…WTF???